…if you know me, you know who this is gonna be.
That’s right…Mr. Prince Rogers Nelson.
I may go through songs, but that’ll be way harder than it was for Marley. So, I’m gonna start with albums and, maybe, come behind that with my ten favorite Prince songs. The best song from each album is in parentheses.

Top Ten Prince Albums
10. Around the World in a Day (Conditon of the Heart). This is always a tough one to call because, even twenty years down the line, it’s hard to consider this record without thinking about how much worse this is than its immediate predecssor, Purple Rain. There are some bangers on here–“Condition of the Heart” immediately comes to mind–but this experiment in psychedelia just didn’t hit the mark like most of his other experiments.
9. Gold Experience (Billy Jack Bitch). Still an underrated album. Unreal highlights–“Shhh” and “Billy Jack Bitch,” especially–and it’s fairly consistent. Just happened to come out when the little man had lost his damn mind.
8. Emancipation (Savior). Okay, this is three discs, so not all of the stuff is going to be good. The good stuff is spectacular (“Face Down,” “White Mansion,” and others), but this wins for a slightly different reason. Emancipation is really a box set, as each disc has a distinct personality. The winner of the three is the second disc, which is sequenced flawlessly and feature some of his best writing ever. Oh, and it’ll get you laid. Trust me on that. That’s big because other Prince records have songs that’ll do the job, but then there will be some weird funk number that’ll throw off the groove. On this one, just press play.
As a writer, “Savior” is still the cut that stands out to me. If you spit the following verse to your lady and she still leave you, she never loved you in the first place. Either that or you must have slept with her sister. Or brother.
“How did I come this far without you?
What was I thinkin’?
What was I tryin to be?
You never gave me reason to doubt you
you are my destiny
and yes I clearly see
We’re like two petals from the same flower
Two branches from the same tree
Whenever I look in your eyes
I can see paradise
You’re my savior
You’re all I’ll ever need.”
A tad simpish, I’ll admit, but can’t say that shit don’t drive the point home. Amazing how the prospect of loving someone younger than the law allows will inspire you (though a very unflattering bio of Prince called Possessed makes it clear that nothing untoward happened until Mayte was legal. I only believe that because the writer looks for any reason to shit on Prince, and I’m sure he would have jumped on that one). For another example of underage inspiration, check out “Let’s Get It On,” which purportedly was recorded on the same day as when Marvin saw Janis Hunter for the first time. She was sixteen. For more on that, check David Ritz’s Divided Soul, easily my favorite music book ever.
7. Symbol (Sexy MF). That Kirstie Alley stuff is incredibly annoying, but the record is really underrated. Brought a lot of jazz stuff into R&B before that became vogue, and it’s got “Sexy MF.” I really like “Sexy MF,” derivative though it may be.
6. Musicology (The Marrying Kind). I even debate putting this up higher. Why? Because there isn’t a single skipper from track 3 until the end. In fact, everything after 3 is dope as hell. Greatest accomplishment–he makes being a Jehovah’s Witness sound fun. Except it seems clear that there’s no gettin’ laid allowed. In fact, even trying will get you put on the couch. Ummm, Prince…how ’bout just going home? And if it’s your house, shouldn’t she be on the couch?
5. Parade (Do U Lie). Ahhh, and now the debates will begin as we get to the established canon of Prince records. Parade just isn’t the pop juggernaut that the other four are, but it’s so smokin’. White folks may have beaten “Kiss” into the ground, but it’s a banger. Not a banger like “I Wish U Heaven,” “Anotherloverholeinyohead,” or “Pop Life,” but still a winner. In fact, the only criticism of Sign O the Times I could make is that it doesn’t have the bass lines that Parade has, something that leads me to believe that maybe the Revolution did contribute something.
4. 1999 (Little Red Corvette). You know, this record is really vulgar at times. Yanno, that whole “Lady Cab Driver” thing and some of the lines in “Let’s Pretend We’re Married.” Oh yeah, and the chick in “Little Red Corvette” carries used rubbers in her pockets. I’m not sure if that does anything at all for the quality of this record, but go song for song and just marvel. Eric Arnold once told me that “Little Red” is like “I Want to Hold Your Hand” for a new generation, and he’s right. Only difference–it’s way better than the Beatles track. The title track is insanely good. “International Lover” remains one of my favorites. And “DMSR” brings a stanza that sounds like what I wish my life was like pre-responsibilities.
“I don’t wanna be a poet
cuz I don’t wanna blow it (pause, Aden)
I don’t care to win awards.
All I wanna do is dance
play music, sex, romance
try my best to never get bored.”
It ain’t rocket science, but who can’t relate?
3. Dirty Mind (When You Were Mine). Do you realize this album is only twenty-nine minutes long? For all the things we can say about R. Kelly, he’s never done an album this vulgar. “Sister” outlines an incestuous, statutorily illegal relationship in incredibly graphic terms. And it’s dope.
“When You Were Mine” is about the most trifling woman I’ve heard of in a while…save for his 32 year old sister. And it’s dope.
“Uptown” describes the sort of night that’ll make you go get tested in the morning. And it’s dope.
“Gotta Broken Heart Again” isn’t vulgar at all. It’s actually heartbreaking. And it’s dope.
And “Head”…probably more buckwild than you’re picturing right now. And it’s dope.
Oh yeah, and it was recorded entirely in his basement. This is a demo, a la Springsteen’s “Nebraska.” While I love the grittiness, I can’t help but wonder how the record would have sounded had he been able to fit a piano in the basement.
2. Purple Rain (When Doves Cry). Here’s the thing about Purple Rain…there are definitely Prince records with better written songs, and probably some with better tracks. However, none of his albums jump out of the speakers on track one like this one does with “Let’s Go Crazy.” And, amazingly, he manages to keep the energy going the whole way. Put it like this–me and my buddy Dandric once were at Wendy’s talking about the movie, and we got to that ridiculous scene where the little man sings “The Beautiful Ones” while Apollonia is trying to drink champagne out of a martini glass. Just talking about the scene made us get up, get in the car, and head to Best Buy to buy the album. Just on the strength of that.
And this may not make sense, but I’m gonna say it anyway–this is so dope and edgy that I have no idea why so many millions of people bought it. In fact, think about this. The movie is about a dude doing weird music that no one else liked. Those same weird songs sold boatloads of copies. Huh?
1. Sign O the Times (If I Was Your Girlfriend). This ain’t just the best Prince album. There are few albums in the ’80s that can compete. We’re talking about Joshua Tree, It Takes a Nation…, London Calling, shit like that. Yes, and Appetite for Destruction, even though I hope Axl Rose one day drowns in a mixture of Everclear and chicken grease. Racist bastard.
Anyway, it’s not just that Sign O The Times covers such a massive scope or that it’s so well-written or that it features some of his best singing. It’s that, after Purple Rain, it seemed clear that he had another great record in him, but it might have been impossible for him to make a record as great as people thought him capable of. This one meets any expectation that anyone could have had. It’s to him what Blood on the Tracks was for Dylan. Only thing, though–Dylan had done better records than that one, and some of his stuff from the late ’90s is on par with Blood. Prince didn’t just give us something we thought he had in us. He gave us more than anyone could have reasonably expected he had left.
For more on the title track, click here.
Oh yeah, I’m feeling good. Top twenty Prince songs coming shortly.