We playin' basketball…

February 8, 2005

Business…here’s a bonus BSN joint for this month, this time on the hiring practices of NFL franchises.
OK, let’s start this off by updating the world on the exploits of everyone’s favorite Caucasian rec league phenomenon…the Dutch Masters!

They won tonight. And not only did they win, but they beat the brakes off the other team. Now, never mind the fact that the other team had a couple of girls on it and a cat that wore a collared shirt under his hooping shirt. That doesn’t matter, because the DMs came out with a W, baby! I got there late, so I had to watch from the bleachers, but it was all right, man. They played so well that Big O scored about 8 points. Now, you might be wondering what O’s first name is. Oscar? Oliver? Orville?
Nope, it’s Chuck. Why is he Big O? See, O is short for oxygen. The rest of the team calls him that because he shoots so many air balls. And yes, he scored 8 points. Sneaky Pete was out there balling, out of control as always, but he balled. And DA, our “wringer,” had a monster game. PASS THAT DUTCH!
And yes, they all appeared to be sober. I know that’s what you were really concerned about. Secretly, I was wondering who would have the heart–or lack thereof?–to beat one of those girls’ shots as if trying to bust a pinata. That didn’t happen, though. Personally, I’d have made a highlight reel off stuff like that. Yes, I am foul. I call it my personal help to the women’s liberation movement. Yep, I pitch women’s shots just like men’s.
That is, unless it’s one of those Carolina superstar women that comes into Woolen. It wouldn’t be totally unreal if a woman dunked on you at Carolina. The woman on the court at Woolen is like the white boy on the court in the hood–the right to be there has been earned. Keep that in mind, fellas.
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As for other hoops, Carolina/Dook is Wednesday. Looks like I won’t be able to get in (sorry, MPK, if you’re reading), but I’ll still be rooting against the white Devil that wears blue. And for entertainment, check this piece from Dook’s student paper. It seems some of them got as much beef with the squad as I do, and I hate Dook like fat kids hate salad.
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New joint on Wednesday. Holla back.

Comments


Solomeen

Come on, now: It ain't no fun if the Dutch Masters can't get none! Imagine how bad that beatin' woulda been if them cats had been lit -- it's scary just thinkin' about it. The DMs woulda smoked some blunts, smoked dem gurls, and then smoked dat azzzz! They gotta get blunted for at least ONE more game! Marketing idea: Someone needs to start pimpin' some DutchMasters t-shirts...PASS THAT DUTCH, BEEEYOTCH!!!! Think Dr. Rice would wear one?

Fred Batiste, A Weapon of Mass Destruction

Solomeen, I can see it now... Dem damn Dutch Masters can come out with those "Pass that Dutch, Beeyotch!!!" T-shirts and warm up to either "Pass the dutchie" buy Musical Youth or Missy's "pass that dutch"... man it would be comical. Crunk, but yet comical. Bo..what was the point spread? Would it have been better if the DMs woulda been blowed? And Bo,, there's nothing wrong with swatting a woman's shot like she's a dude. Think about it, she expects equal treatment on the court, so treat her like a dude. Chances are she's lookin' like one too on the court (I couldn't resist!!). BTW: It would be funny to see Coondi(Don't ban me, Bo!), I mean, Dr. Rice, rockin a size 3XL DMs shirt!!! Also..Please tell me the Dutch Masters name was something you came up with for this Web site.