Before I go any further, whoever had March 31st in the pool for The Day Rush Limbaugh Would Say Something Stupid About the Case at Duke, you’re a winner.
Moving on…
So it seems the lil’ fella will be on American Idol. He may have already been on, but I don’t watch Idol. Never again, at least, and I never watched it that much. Just enough to write about it way back in the day.
Anyway, that lil link got me thinking…what Prince songs would be cool for American Idol? And which ones wouldn’t be cool, meaning they’d be the ones I’d want to hear?
(And I gleaned that they would be performing his songs like was done with other artists. I could be wrong. But no matter what, act like they will be performing his songs and appreciate the fun.)
Ten For American Idol
Still Waiting
I Wanna Be Your Lover
Gotta Broken Heart Again
Diamonds and Pearls
Slow Love
Kiss (though someone will wind up sounding just like Tom Jones)
I Wish U Heaven
Most Beautiful Girl in the World
Purple Rain
Thieves in the Temple
Yeah, all pretty standard fare. Nice and tame for the kiddies, yanno?
But here’s what I’d love to hear people sing, along with highlighted lyrics that would set the censors afire.
Ten More for Idol
Little Red Corvette. “Guess I must be dumb/she had a pocket full of horses/Trojans, some of ’em used.” And if that ain’t enough, “girl got an ass like I’ve neeeeever seen.”
Sister. “My sister never made love to anyone but me/she’s the reason for my sexuality/she showed me where it’s ‘sposed to go/a blow job doesn’t mean blow…” And later, Prince says that, “incest is everything it’s said to be.” Wow.
Erotic City. “If we cannot make babies, maybe we can make some time/fuck so pretty you and me/erotic city come alive/we can fuck until the dawn/makin love til…/’rotic city, can’t you see/fuck so pretty you and me.” Simon, your thoughts?
When 2 R In Love. “When 2 R in love/the thought of his tongue at the V of her love/in his mind, that thought/it leads the pack.” Paula, why did you change the way you were sitting?
Sexy M.F. Really, just to see someone try to emulate some of the brutal “rapping” on here. But also for the entire Idol cast to say, “sexy motherfucker, shakin that ass/shakin that ass, shakin that ass.” Get crunk, Randy!
Darling Nikki. “I knew a girl named Nikki, I guess you could say she was a sex fiend/met her in hotel lobby masturbating with a magazine.” Wait, why are we going to commercial?
Let’s Pretend We’re Married. “I’m not saying this to be nasty, but I’d sincerely like to fuck the taste out of your mouth/can you relate?” Whatcha say, Paula? Straight up.
I Hate U. Just for that bit about covering up the girl with a sheet. America loves S&M!!!
Jack U Off. Yeah, just what you’d expect. Except the beat is borderline campy.
Scarlet Pussy. “She can make you shoot your ego all over her sheets/all is hers in love and war/my little scarlet pussy.” Yup.
More I think about it, the more likely I am to actually watch that.
April 4, 2006
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