Paris Hilton is going to jail.
Happens to the best of em sometimes. The worst, too.
But my girlfriend pointed out the most interesting part.
“I did have a choice to go to a pay jail,” Hilton said Sunday, without giving details. “But I declined because I feel like the media portrays me in a way that I’m not and that’s why I wanted to go to county, to show that I can do it and I’m going to be treated like everyone else. I’m going to do the time, I’m going to do it the right way.”
For a look at what “pay jail” is, check this from the Times.
Paris, dear…lemme explain something to you.
THERE IS NO RIGHT WAY TO DO TIME!!!
The right way to do time is not to do time at all. Keep your sorry ass outta jail. That’s the way to do time. The best way to do time is sleeping on the couch cuz your spouse can’t stand to be around you. You wake up, make breakfast, and pray for the best. That, Paris, is the best way to do time.
But jail? You make it as easy as possible. If I got sent to the joint, you best believe I’d go to pay jail. In fact, if I got sent to jail, I’d authorize every dime I’ve got to be put toward pay jail. Take all the equity out my house. Liquidate my assets. Just keep me out of free jail. Trust me–it ain’t the bargain you think it is. It’s free, and you still get overcharged for it. Sometimes, you don’t get what you pay for.
If Paris Hilton wants to change her image, she should pull a Mark Cuban and get a gig at Dairy Queen or something. Get hobby. Work with black kids or lepers or something.
But the last thing she wants to do is prove a point in jail. That doesn’t work out well for anyone. Whether showing your true proletariat spirit or fighting for your bologna sandwich, there’s not that much room for someone like her to prove a point in the pokey. Make it easy.
I won’t hate on her for it. Neither would most people, to be honest. Except for the folks with the hate in their blood. Different story entirely.
But if this is what she wants, I guess she should get it. Maybe she’ll learn some things about the world. MAybe she’ll learn how to make a grilled cheese sammich with her body heat and mattress. Maybe she’ll see just how sexy a mullet can be on a woman.
More than anything, I bet she’ll see that pay jail was the way to go.
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