…to dog black men! Here’s another look at the multitudes of single black women in America.
There’s nothing new here, other than another reminder that Steve Fucking Harvey has become the go-to call on black men. Oy.
There are lots of problems with the way this story was presented, notably some of the statistical manipulations. That said, I’ve got one question to ask about this…
How do the experiences of black professional women compare to their white counterparts?
That’s what gets me about these stories. They’re always about black men vs. black women, and “vs.” is appropriate, given the confrontational tone stories like this take. But what are the reasons that white professional women have an easier time finding husbands?
Once we get into that, I’d like the answer to one question — are white women more likely to marry men below them in the class strata?
I ask that because much of that story centered around the pickiness of the women featured. That’s their right, of course. However, when you’re picky, you can be but so mad when you don’t get what you want. These women have lists of what they require in a man. Well, how many men fit the requirements? If that number is low, then you’re sure to end up with a great man…if you get a man. But, by definition, pickiness increases your likelihood to go home empty handed.
So, do white women behave differently? Why or why not?
But eh, why ask that when we can talk bad about black men, right?
I’m curious how many of these professional women would be willing to date a bright guy who isn’t a professional. I know plenty of cats like that, many of them my close friends. They’re the guys black women like those in that story want to find, save for their employment situations. How many of those women would date them?
Now, let’s flip that around. How many of those same women would be willing to date a ballplayer? The ballplayers, most likely, wouldn’t be as intelligent. He would, however, have a lot more money.
If these women wouldn’t date my friends, but would date the ballplayers, that’s their choice. However, if that’s the case, they couldn’t say that the problem is a shortage of men that fit their requirements. They’d have to say there’s a shortage of such men that are paid.
And that’s something entirely different.
To be clear — I’m not assigning blame to anyone. I’d just prefer that we look at this social phenomenon — one that merits discussion, I might add — as a collective issue, rather than talking about how hard this is on black women. Lemme tell you what’s rougher than black women’s inability to find men as educated as them — the fact that so many black men are capable of being the men they’re looking for, but don’t even have a fighting chance to get there.
That’s what’s rough.
This story on Nightline posited the shortcomings of black men as if they are entirely complicit for their misfortune, completely ignoring the systemic factors that contribute so greatly to those negative outcomes. Hell, there was a prosecutor discussing how disheartening it is to see so many black men in her courtroom, but no discussion of how much differently the legal system treats black men vis-a-vis everyone else! The core of the real, necessary, legitimate discussion was in that story, and it was quickly ignored.
That’s a helluva lot more important than why some black women can’t find men.
But no matter what, we’re not going to get anywhere discussing this topic until we look at it from a different initial position than the assumption of the inferiority of the black man.
December 28, 2009
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