Went to Carolina’s graduation yesterday.  For those that weren’t there, I’m here to offer you the statistics that make any graduation great.  Keep in mind these numbers aren’t exact.  They are merely what I could gather from my limited vantage.
Jheri curls–five.
Shags–one, but it was a magnificent one.
At Clark, the best part of graduation was seeing where all the bougie folks came from.  There were always a bunch of folks–usually women–that would try to amp up their profiles once they got to school.  They’d get fresh to death and try to play it like they came from high society and all that stuff I could care less about.
Then Big Mama and Big Daddy would come to graduation with the jug with the pennies in the bottom, the airhorns, and all their country goodness and blow up the spot.  You could almost see some of them wince as they crossed the stage.
“Man, I wish they wouldn’t call me Nicey in over that megaphone!”
Priceless stuff, man.
Carolina doesn’t let graduates walk–BOO!!!–so you don’t quite get that great moment.
Instead, we settled for a moment that was almost as good–the applause for honorary graduate Dean Edwards Smith.  Seriously, it’s impossible for me to explain how beloved Dean is here.  It’s unlike anything I’ve seen or heard of.  And unlike a lot of places that make their coaches into something approaching deity, it’s actually a healthy thing here.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must continue celebrating the fact that I spent the day with four generations of my girlfriend’s family and emerged with all of my limbs in place.  A wonderful day indeed.
Fellas, please leave the best story you’ve got about meeting a girl’s family in the comments.  Cuz I know some of you have been threatened for real.  I know this because I wouldn’t let half of you anywhere any woman I’ve ever met.  And neither would you.