I got to talking to my man Clarence today, and he told me about seeing someone fall the other night that sounded like a Grade A, 5-star fall.
Got me thinking to the funnest falls I’ve seen.  I think I’ll rattle off my top 3.  Two of them were witnessed in TV, but I think they still count.
3.  My first year of grad school, I was minding my own business in a game theory class.  Our professor, who was a tad weird, was trying to navigate through a room where the tables were aligned around the room, leaving very little space to walk by the board but in front of the chairs.
Dude tried to make a turn around a tight corner.  I don’t know what he tripped over, but next thing I knew, he was heading forward.  Then, he began to balance himself by swinging his arms.  It worked…too well.  Next thing you know, buddy’s about to fall on his ass.  That’s better than falling on your face, though.  Then, out of the blue, he was back upright, writing greek letters on the board.
I was so torn, though.  I laugh when people fall.  That’s the rule.  But what about when it’s the professor…and the rest of the room–save for a gentleman named Kirk–isn’t wired to laugh?  Me and Kirk sat there fighting it so hard.  I laugh now thinking about it, just because I got cheated out of it then.
(Actually, there are way better ones than this…but they’re so hard to keep straight.  All that laughter’s bad for the memory.)
2.  Michelle Williams from Destiny’s Child on “106 and Park.”
Destiny’s Child’s just walking.  Minding their own business.  Then Michelle’s gone.  Disappeared.  Fell so fast that you’d think she was beamed up to the Enterprise.  Whoooo, that was funny.
And metaphorical.  Michelle’s way extra in that group.  Everyone knows it.  So when Beyonce and Kelly kept it going like nothing ever happened–which performers are supposed to do–it didn’t seem like them doing their jobs.  It felt like what we know they said every day–we don’t need this chick.
1.  I bet you can guess.
First time I saw this, I was in my bedroom.  I’d fallen asleep with the TV on.  Before i went to sleep, my brother told me of this fall.  I did not, however, expect to see at 2 in the morning when I just opened my eyes long enough to turn the TV off.  There it was–Bob Dole falling off a stage.  I laughed myself back to sleep.