That’s right, Duck Fook. Carolina beat Dook today, even though they tried really hard to lose the game for a while. Down nine with three minutes to go, things looked pretty bleak. However, them boys got it right.
Nobody hates Dook more than me. Today was happy.
So to celebrate, it was time to hit Franklin Street, which is the main drag near UNC’s campus. While there, it became clear how black folks are different from white folks. Yes, this sounds like the beginning of a bad comedy routine, but we’ve got a big difference here…

White folks burn stuff when happy. Black folks break out the matches and gasoline when mad.
See, history has shown that black folks get buck, turn over cars, and set fire to whatever they see in times of total frustration. Think of the riots following Dr. King’s assassination and the madness that followed acquittals in the Rodney King case. It seems that when black folks get angry, it’s time to get pyro.
White folks, on the other hand, burn things down after a major sports victory. Think of the celebrations following most sports championships in North America. At Carolina, all it takes is a win against Dook–which is a BFD in a way that’s hard to understand outside of this state–and you could stay warm on Franklin on an early March evening without a jacket. You name it, and it was set on fire. Frat boys put the furniture from their houses on flames. Some rockhead got caught trying to push a piano out of a building into a fire. Yes, a damn piano. That woman is hanging out in the pokey right now.
But that’s what they do ’round these parts as celebration. Any newspaper, unnecessary t-shirt, or other flammable object wound up ablaze on Franklin Street tonight. ‘Twas pretty damn entertaining, but I couldn’t help but wonder what would have gone down had this happened at Clark, my alma mater.
I’ll give you a hint–had I had a hand in things, I wouldn’t be writing this right now. I’d be sportin’ one of those fly orange jump suits. Know dat.
But really, even though this is just my graduate institution, it’s always good to see the big rival go down.
Lemme stop lying…it’s just good to see Dook lose. I’ve said that if Dook played the Klu Klux Klan that I’d root for a zero-zero tie, and I really mean that. No love for Coach K. No love for Redick. No love for Danny Ewing, since that traitor should have gone to Texas with T.J. Ford. Sucka.
This last bit of one-feva is leaving my body. But just remember this…this is just the ACC regular season. We’ve got a conference tourney and the Big Dance to go. There is no better place to be in March than the Cackalack.
April, however, is another ballgame.