Well, as I’m going through this new U2 CD for the first time (seems good, but I’m on laptop speakers), it seems like a good time for me to break out my Mount Rushmore of cool white dudes. Additions, edits, and criticisms are welcome. They list goes as follows…

4. Robert DeNiro – Should you not believe me, ask your wife. Especially if you’re black. She might have a story to tell.
3. Victor Newman – Yes, I used to watch The Young and the Restless. There’s no shame because there has Victor Newman is the man I’d love to be. But, he married his stripper. That’s general not the best move, but it worked decently for him. But look….the man was so cool that he made a blind woman think he was the greatest. She left him, and he just kept on truckin’ and got another. And really, why has no rapper referred to himself as Victor Newman?
2. Frank Sinatra – Do I need to explain that? If so, just download “My Way.” While we praise Puff for “Vote or Die,” Francis might have had an election fixed. That there is juice. And that voice is no joke.
1. Ric Flair – It’s all about the Nature Boy. What’s your favorite Natch line? I’m taking, “if you don’t like it, learn to love it…cuz it’s the best thing goin’ today! Whooooo!” Never once was he spotted with an ugly woman. Easily the greatest export of the Cackalackys.
Honorable mention – K. Deming. Just because.