That’s right…I watched Oprah. But I didn’t just watch it–I TiVo’d it. That’s right…I made sure I saw Oprah.
Why? Because Terry McMillan was gonna be on.
And she was.
And she reaffirmed one of my confusions with the universe–why go on television to look foolish?
As most of you know, Terry’s ex-husband, the one she praised endlessly after they got married, turned out to be a homosexual. She says he played her for the money–though she wasn’t talking that tough talk yesterday and never had to recant those statements–and he says he didn’t realize he was gay until he was deep in the marriage.
I think they’re both wrong on that one. Sorry dude, but your first thought for a business was dog grooming. Bows on poodles. Perhaps buddy was just seriously secure in his masculinity, but that would have been a bit of a warning sign.
But did he play her for the money? That’s a tough call. He may not have known who she was when they met, but he saw her crib when he got to Cali. He know bosslady was paid. But if he was duping her, he would have skipped out long before.
Why? Because she’s out of her gourd. It was obvious from watching her talk about everything that she’s out of her gourd. To go on Oprah to talk about this shows a bit of insanity.
Maybe not insanity, but she’s clearly using this as an opportunity to turn herself into a martyr. Guess she died for women with fragile egos who are more offended that their man is gay than the more salient offense–adultery.
Anyway, they ran through some old interviews she did, and she was rather irate. Pretty funny to see a woman with her hair colored like Ronald McDonald telling Tavis that, “I’m not a homophobe. I’m a Jon-o-phobe.”
Word? Okay.
So she ranted and got lots of applause from the back row at various points. I don’t see why.
Anyway, buddy boy came on next. Now I don’t know when he started dressing like he does, but there’s no doubt now that he’s gay. The shaped eyebrows and the whole nine…didn’t take a rocket scientist to see it now. Can anyone confirm when he started sporting gear like this? That would really help solve the mystery on this one.
After a bit more back and forth–and her giving a lot of funny looks, the kinds kids try to give on the sly when they’re in uncomfortable situations–they brought a therapist on to talk to them.
That’s when I turned the television off.
What therapy is needed here? He cheated on her. She told him to get his shit and bounce.
Sure, there are residuals from this, but the homophobia of all of this is just so hard for me to deal with. The problem that she has is that he left her for men, not because he left her. The adultery angle seems to matter not (perhaps because of the desperation she may have entered this marriage with).
She sat up talking about how he may have risked her life because he was sleeping with men. That makes sense. After all, women don’t have any diseases. Jesus, has anyone ever heard of a woman with HIV????
Plummer gets some points from me, though. He stepped into the lion’s den, which I wouldn’t have done. He didn’t get booed or anything, but he was definitely on enemy ground. He didn’t make himself look bad. Terry didn’t either, but that’ll only hold if you’re not that bright. Some of her examples and logic were so faulty that it was ridiculous.
An example–the dude said he was gay but that he hadn’t dealt with any men by the time she told her. She said she didn’t believe it.
“That’s like someone saying their an alcoholic before taking a drink.”
But later in the show, Oprah asked buddy how he didn’t realize he was gay until he was 20 because other gay people she knows could pinpoint their realization of homosexuality to childhood. Well, it’s safe to assume those kids weren’t out there having gay sex, isn’t it?
So how those folks know they were drunks if they hadn’t taken a drink?
I would have liked more Springer stuff, but I hate how she’s trying to turn herself into a victim. This just exacerbates this bizarre “down low” phenomenon and makes life hard for a lot of people. She got cheated on. That’s bad biz, but that’s not unique.
But this is something all of us have been guikty of in the aftermath of a failed relationship–tying this to ego. And that’s all it can be. If this didn’t have to do with ego, then adultery would have been the most salient point heard in her pain.
But it’s not.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
November 10, 2005
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