It is with great sadness that I must report that the Dutch Masters’ season is over. The referee conspired against my boys, deciding not to call anything in the second half and allowing their opponents to come back and win. Damn those zebras.
But, here are some fantastic moments from the last game, things so wild that I couldn’t make up…

Also, let me start by assuring you that the Dutch Masters are real. JR was sure they’d been made up, but they’re as real as penitentiary steel, baby. In the flesh, emerging from the fog/smoke to entertain you all.
1. “Hey, I saw that guy in court.” –Sneaky Pete
Well, the Sneaky One is on a teenaged version of probation, and the guy he’s referring to was the other team’s coach. Now, it wasn’t made clear to me whether that other guy was a judge, juror, attorney, or defendant, but he saw the other guy at the courthouse. Really, that could go either way. The cat had a Rollie Fingers mustache that connected to his mutton chop sideburns. That’s the look of a potential criminal, folks. He might not do the dirt himself, but he knows people that do. Wearing a style like that indicates that he really doesn’t care what anyone things, including Johnny Law.
2. “You look like Cube in Boyz N The Hood.” –Bomani Jones
Shooter Mike–not to be confused with Baller Mike, another DM–has a curly hairstyle going, and it looks rather Hollywood Shuffle-ish when wet. So, after sweating through a game of ball, he looks like he might hang with Eriq LaSalle circa 1987. To top that off, he put on a Detroit Tigers cap, which was the cap that Doughboy wore in Boyz N The Hood. I was expecting him to say, “they either don’t know, don’t show, and care about what’s really goin’ down in the hood.” Unfortunately, he did not.
Another cat, P-Jay, put a piece of paper next to the D on his Detroit cap that said, “utchmasters.” The kids are gangsta, I tell ya.
3. “I found out the police were at a game last week.” –Coach Aden Darity
It wasn’t for a DM game, but some cat got buck at another game and had to leave the building. The Chapel Hill Rec League is off the meat rack, baby.
4. “Am I going to have to stop Sneaky Pete from fighting?” –Bomani Jones
Yeah, my man Sneaky Pete was lookin’ for a rumble. Pete caught a cat with the ill illegal screen, and he later got involved in the chase for a loose ball that bordered on a rugby scrum. You’re already in the system, Pete. Be careful. However, Pete was gangsta with his, so I found it to be pretty entertaining.
Can you tell I’m a tad sad that the season is over? At the same time, all the kids will be back to play next year, so the fun’ll start back in January. Get ready. And Aden and I are going with the cats to the Waffle House some time soon, so get ready for a group picture.
And shouts out to all you DM fans that have been frequenting the site…don’t stop just because the season’s over.
***
The comments have been pretty interesting on this “nigger” thing. Perspective is somethin’, lemme tell ya. Thanks so much for the interesting discourse. I was kinda hoping izrael would get in on this, but no dice. He’s got a great line on Colin Ferguson as it relates to this topic, but I’ll save it for him to tell you or give you the link (I see ya out there, patna).
***
Got a piece on Friday about Rosa Parks and OutKast, and there will be some BHM blurbs next week for AOL. Also, there might be a piece on a very well-known sports outlet this week, but that’s looking less likely with each passing moment. If it doesn’t run there, it’ll be a BomaniJones.com exclusive.