So someone wrote this post on “8 Reasons to Marry a White Man.” I’ll link it, but won’t discuss it. It wasn’t written well enough to get that from me. Plus, those white dudes don’t sound like none of the white dudes I know.
Here’s my solution for you angered by that post: reply with a similarly baseless post called “The Reason You Won’t Even Let a White Man Take You to Dinner.” I bet it would be more entertaining. Type it in pink font and be on your merry way.
Yes, that whole discussion, to me, is just that silly.
Anyway, Ms. Robbins said I should do a post on “7 Reasons You Should Date a Man who listens to Prince.”
I coulda said no. I also coulda swigged some cranberry juice with isopropyl vodka.
Of course, I could be biased here, given my affinity for Prince. That said, I promise that these are not seven reasons to date me.
1. We just love women in a different way. I once saw Tupac say, “I love women the way Prince loves women.” But if you think about it, the affection Prince writes about is a consuming, enveloping one. It’s as powerful as it is idiosyncratic, as sexual as it is personal, and never self-conscious. Seriously, it takes a special type to sing…
Someone over there
says he wants to get to know you
I don’t care
cuz I really want to hold you
and I’m, scared
cuz he might do something to you that you like…
Then one verse later say…
Someone over there
says he wants to get to know you
I’ll do anything I can
just to give you happiness
I wanna drown, baby
drown, baby
in your arms, cmon baby
can’t you get to this?
You can’t relate if you haven’t felt the same way, scared to death and cocky enough to say the second verse out loud. You just can’t.
2. The playlist will always be incredible. I’ve got a Prince list I call “platinum,” a general list — Guaranted — that starts with “Adore,” and a Prince playlist for the tub. “When 2 R in Love” is on all three, FYI.
3. We learned to talk to women from Prince. Now maybe this is just me, but I learned a whole lot about the game from music, and I’ve listened to Prince more than anyone. And what did I learn? The same man can be “Still Waiting” and “Let’s Pretend We’re Married.” Just a matter of time and place. However, if dude is just one or the other? Well, you’ll be looking for another to fill out that other half of you. And no matter what, both of those halves are you.
4. We’ll take you to the concert. And we won’t be mad when you’re staring at him. So you’re sitting over there fantasizing about a 5-3 man in high heels? Bad news: this 6-4 dude is the one driving you home. Except, really, that’s good news. For me, at least, so why would I trip?
5. We’re selfless. Think about it: how many Prince songs are about taking? They’re just about all about giving. Who doesn’t want Christmas every day? (Note: I should say like Kwanzaa, cuz I’m talking about Christmas without me having to buy stuff all the time).
6. We know a good bass line when we hear it. Hard to have good music without a good bass. After all, what’s there to move to?
7. We’ve already seen “Purple Rain,” “Graffiti Bridge,” and “Under the Cherry Moon.” And, like you, we never want to see the latter two again. But we will invite you over to watch them. And remind you of No. 2.
So yeah, that’s that. And it’s not about me. Entirely.
Yeah.
September 30, 2010