Title says it all, right. Let’s go.

Prince. And really, I’m not sure why. Having the music is enough for me, and I don’t think there’s anything about meeting women he could tell me. Not because I know it all, but because I’m sure the game that works for him works only for him. But if I want to talk to him, I know what I should do–move to Minneapolis and wait at home for him to knock on my door passing out pamphlets he picked up at Kingdom Hall.
Jim Brown. Because I want to know what it’s like to stare the scariest cat on earth dead in the face.
Beyonce. I doubt I’d have anything to say. But I would have time to throw something on the ground behind her and hope she’d have to bend over to pick it up. With no bend in her knee. And a smile and “thank you” when she got back up. And she’s got a card for free food from Popeyes.
Jay-Z. Before I meet Beyonce, I’d like to make sure he won’t be hatin on the folk. In a somewhat related note, I wonder who’d take over Def Jam if something untoward were to happe to President Carter.
Nas. To give him the list I compiled of all the factual errors on “I Can.” Once a teacher, always a teacher.
Terrell Owens. Just so I could shake the shit out of him and tell him to act like he’s got some damn sense. I do think he’ll be on his best behavior this season, though.
Kanye West. Just so I could shake the shit out of him and tell him to act like he’s got some damn sense.
Dave Chappelle. If only to find out how in the world he does it. Perhaps the smartest entertainer working today.
Bob Johnson. I’ve never been able to figure Bob out. Is he really a shameless profiteer or is he somehow conflicted by some of the things he’s done? Only he could tell.
Clarence Thomas. Because no one can be that self-loathing. It’s just not possible. I’d have to meet him myself.
Ric Flair. So I could take notes and learn what it’s like to be the Nature Boy.
Glen “Big Baby” Davis. Really, he looks like a lotta fun to hang out with. However, he might be the dude that you just tell, “man, shut that up and watch TV.” But then again, I think someone told me that last night.
Big Boi. To see what it’s like to be the coolest dude in Atlanta. And have a VIP parking spot at every shake joint in the South. I don’t know if he has that, but if anyone does…
Jack Nicholson. Because I’m sure that within twenty minutes, I can talk him into letting me hang with him at a Lakers game. But then again, I couldn’t convince Simmons to let me hang with him at a Clippers game. Maybe I need to shoot for Dyan Cannon instead. She ain’t cool as Jack, though.
Devin the Dude. Because you know it would be the most fun imaginable, and probably on a budget of about eight bucks.
Oprah. Just to look in her fridge. My sister once said she thinks Oprah probably just eats the hearts of watermelons. No seeds, just the good red in the middle. If that’s how it’s gettin down in Oprahland, I’d play it just like Chappelle did.
Wyclef Jean. Cuz you know he’s got prime Lauryn Hill stories. You just know he does.
Bernie Taupin. Cuz you know he’s got prime Elton John stories. You just know he does.
John Hope Franklin. True story–I’ve got a friend here whose brother keeps dodging John Hope Franklin. The professor knew him when he was a little boy, and my boy’s brother seems totally disinterested in going to see him. If it didn’t involve tricking an old man, I’d go to his house and pretend to be this dude. Just to soak up the knowledge. Probably the greatest living scholar in this country.
Too $hort. It seems I’m the only person in Atlanta that hasn’t had a chance meeting with Too $hort. But I’d want to meet him because every story involves him just being the coolest cat ever. Totally unassuming, just hangin’ out and playing pool. Oh yeah, while slews of bad women parade around his house. Gettin it…
IMr Whitefolks (from Pimps Up, Ho’s Down). Because there’s no way he’s a real person. Except that he is.
Hal Varian. To ask him why his graduate micro book doesn’t have more examples. Forgive me, but I just saw it on my shelf and had to mention that point.
David Ritz. Because he wrote my favorite biography, Divided Soul: The Life and Times of Marvin Gaye, which is essential reading for anyone that claims to love Marvin’s music. An incredibly engaging book, one tha thelped me dcide that I wanted to do this for a living.
Chuck D. I once saw Chuck in Lenox Square in Atlanta, and it remains the only time I’ve ever been starstruck. And all he was doing was sitting down on a rail or something. I had so many things to say, but I was too busy letting my eyes glass over to get those things out.
You. I think. Not sure. But if you’re smokin hot, we can do that. Send a pic if you’ve got it, shit.