July 25, 2008

Black in America? Yawn.

So, against my better judgment, I watched some of that “Black in America” special they had on CNN.  I’d love to comment on it, but I’m not sure I saw much that warranted comments.  Not that it was a bad special.  It was pretty decent.  But seeing how I know a person or two already that’s like all the folks they profiled in the special, it wasn’t that illuminating.  ”Hey, let’s talk to a guy in jail!”  Well, I already know a couple of those.  ”Hey, let’s talk to a guy that hangs out with white people!”  Met him, too.  ”Hey, let’s talk to Michael Eric Dyson and Roland Fryer!”  Same as before, though it’s debatable whether I’m better off for having met one of them.

This is what gets me…

Do black people have problems?  Certainly.  How particular to black people were the problems discussed in the show?  That’s questionable.

Anyway, since I really don’t have time to get into all of this, I just want to throw out two things that jumped out at me while I was watching.

1.  At some point, we’re going to have to stop pretending that there’s no such thing as talking like a white person.  There certainly is, and there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that.  Most of us can tell on the telephone whether a caller is black or white.  It’s in the tone of voice, choices of idioms and colloquialisms, etc.  You just know when you’re talking to a white person on the phone or when you’re talking to a black person, and there’s nothing politically incorrect about saying that.

Now, here’s the thing…every time I see one of these shows, there’s always some dude on there lamenting that as soon as he talks, people say he talks like a white boy.  Invariably, that dude sounds like a white boy.  Then, said dude goes on to say how he speaks in proper English and how offensive it is to say that he talks “white” because he speaks proper English.

Let me say this one time to all of you people that perpetuate that nonsense.  There are certainly ignorant people that think speaking properly is talking “white.”  Interestingly, a significant proportion of those people are white.  Dunno how it is they’re not called on the carpet for that, but whatever.  I’m not pretending there aren’t fools out there that don’t get it, but let’s not act like the fools are representative of the larger group.  Only black folks are represented in the mainstream by our fools.

But in general, it is NOT proper grammar that makes one say a person talks like a white person.  If that were the case, there would be a lot more people out there talking about how Martin Luther King talked like a white person.  Malcolm X, too.  Ever hear anyone say that about Jim Brown?  Michael Eric Dyson?  Michael Jordan?  Because all of those people certainly speak and spoke in proper English, but I don’t hear the streets saying they talk like white people.  You might hear someone say they were “proper,” and I heard that one a lot growing up.  But teasing someone for talking “proper” and saying they sound like they’re white are two different things.

It’s because they don’t.  But if you sound like Carlton Friggin’ Banks, you sound like a white person.  And think about it — the people these things are usually said about grew up around lots of white people.  I know this because I grew up around a lot of these people.  If you grow up around a bunch of white people, you’ll probably come out talking like a white person.  Same applies for white folks that grew up in black neighborhoods.  I mean, what do you expect?

For a supposedly thought-provoking series to perpetuate — often using a really annoying green tea spoken word dude to get the point across — was ridiculously.  If you’re not smart enough to see past that madness, you’re not smart enough to tackle the subject of race in America.  Period.

2.  This is what I want.  Keep your “what’s wrong with black people” specials.  Keep Roland Fryer at home, tell Dyson to start working on his next book, and don’t call another one of those Negro neocons to admonish us.  Nope, you can keep that special.  I’ve seen it too many times.

There are a lot of things in black America that need to be fixed.  Most notable among them is the idea that only black folks should be concerned with black America.  It’s America, jack.  I understand the game, though.

Which brings me to my point — that we’re still talking about BLACK America as if it’s something separate, like American Samoa or something, should give you a reminder of what remains the biggest problem in this country.

Racism.

I guess it’s gotten out of style to really talk about racism.  The discussion is a lot more fun for people if it’s somehow about black folks taking this racism as an indelible given and just work around it.  Forgive me, but I’m just not prepared to settle for that.

So this is what I want…

These folks act like these specials about black people are so important, right?  That they’ll give us a portrait of “what it’s really like to be black in America.”

Personally, I’d like to find out what it’s like to be white in America.   Get a room full of white folks and get them talking about white America’s problems.  And how ’bout you start that off with a full on two-hour discussion of racism.  Let us ask the majority, the greatest beneficiaries of racism, to talk about what they’re going to do to fix that scourge on its people.  Talk about how they plan to eliminate this societal flaw that’s persisted for so long.

Racism remains America’s ugliest legacy, so let’s take a TV special there.  No black folks on the panel.  Just white people having a frank discussion on racism.  I’d love to see it.

(Before I go…there are lots of people that get on black people for the idea that family business shouldn’t be discussed in the streets.  Yet so many white commentators continue to look for any explanation imaginable in a situation to avoid pointing toward racism.  If that ain’t the same thing…)

July 22, 2008

I wish I could make this up

In about a ten minute period, I saw a WNBA Battle Royal — at the Palace, of all places — and the channel guide said that Universal HD will be showing Porky’s at 10.

Porky’s.  In HD.  I’d imagine they must have the rights to enough movies that they shouldn’t have to show that before 4 a.m.

July 21, 2008

How people find this blog…

…is always of interest to me.  I don’t peek at my stats like I did when I first started this thing (would you believe it’s been four years?), but I like to see when people use search terms.  It’s an interesting to see why people end up here, but it’s also a great way to check out the sorts of things people put in google.

So I’m looking through the stats, and I see a log-in from some town in Arkansas.  I’d just done some radio in Arkansas a few days before, so I figured it was one of those people.

Nope.

It was someone looking to go from a jheri curl to a relaxer.  I know that because the search terms were “going from curl to relaxer.”

I must say that I figure that would be hard for someone to find on Google.  Those still wearing curls typically aren’t surfing the net.  Digital divide, people.

July 18, 2008

Jim Brown With Me

Check it out.  It’s actually pretty good stuff.

July 17, 2008

Jim Brown, on the air

If you get the chance, hit the link on the right sidebar Friday, July 18 at 4:00 p.m. ET.  To talk about Roger Goodell’s investigation of gang signs in the NFL, I’ll be talking with Jim Brown.  Tune in, if you’ve got the chance.

You can get to the live feed here.

July 13, 2008

In case you forgot…

…who’s the baddest motherfucker breathing.  If you don’t wanna watch the whole thing, start paying attention around the 3:20 mark.  The lil’ fella will take it from there.

 

 

July 8, 2008

Who was the best of the ’70s?

So the other day I got to talking to someone about one of my favorite artists when something struck me — just about all of his stuff came out in the ’70s.  Like every album, which was something I hadn’t considered.  It got me thinking — was this the greatest act of the decade?

Then I got into a phase with another group, which made the whole discussion fascinating enough that I had to try to list the best acts, in my little universe, of the ’70s.  This is spread across genres, and I even kinda try to step out of what I like to appreciate the impact of stuff that just isn’t up my alley.  

Also, remember my somewhat clinical approach to music at times.  I kinda look at it like sports.  I give points for consistency.  Further, great albums are the biggest key to me.  To me, the album is the musical statement, a cohesive presentation of some set of ideas.  That’s what I’m in this for.

(Oh yeah, this is really hastily compiled, so I know I’m leaving something out.)

Here we go…

5.  Parliament/Funkadelic.  Somehow, in the course of everything, I think we’ve lost sight of what amazing musicians the P-Funk bands had.  Eddie Hazel was up there with the great guitarists, Bernie Worrell is a musical genius, and Bootsy is…Bootsy.  The rhythms were always tight, in spite of the amorphous focus of any given P-Funk track.  Maybe it’s because, now that P-Funk is reduced to a touring act, the extraterrestrial stage presence is the dominant image of the group.  Or maybe it’s because George Clinton insists upon wearing that ridiculous hairpiece shit, which makes it impossible to stop and recognize what P-Funk was — the most versatile band ever assembled.  They did funk.  They did rock.  They did blues.  They did R&B.  They did gospel.  And they did them all incredibly.

4.  Michael Jackson.  Think about it — the ’70s are everything from the first Jackson 5 record until Off the Wall.  We’ve all got jokes on Michael, and I think a lot of his solo stuff is overrated, but you listen to “Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough” and “Can You Feel It” and try to tell me there was a badder motherfucker on the planet than Michael Jackson.

Now, this is where things got to feeling like splitting hairs…

3.  Pink Floyd.  I’m not sure any group has ever been more inventive and creative…and bloated and self-indulgent…and absolutely incredible.  The thing about Floyd is the ’70s gets all the great stuff and leaves out most of the Waters-egomania phase (couldn’t get rid of The Wall).  Five great records, two all-timers — Dark Side of the Moon and Wish You Were Here — and the most ambition of any band ever.  This was stuff that required precision and imagination, and it was all fueled by the funk of Roger Waters’ bass.  Oh, and he wrote stuff I wish I’d written.  If someone argued that Wish You Were Here was the best written album ever, I wouldn’t scoff.  Wouldn’t agree, but wouldn’t scoff.

2.  Stevie Wonder.  First, let me duck all the people throwing things at me for putting Stevie at 2.

(still down)

I’m back.  Here’s something amazing about Motown — it produced child stars that were able to turn themselves into self-sufficient entities when they got grown.  Check Michael Jackson, and then look at Stevie.  When you think of the nonsense child stars put out now, you recognize they have no hope of becoming anything but too old to do the stuff they used to.  Stevie hit the ’70s on fire and, had he not made that damn album about the plants, would have made it through 10 years without dropping anything less than fire.  Think about this — except for the plants, the worst Stevie album of the ’70s might have been Talking Book.  And that ain’t no knock.  That’s just how amazing Stevie Wonder is.

1.  Bob Marley.  What’s the difference between Marley and everyone else on this list but MJ?  He hit the end of the decade sounding as good, if not better, than he did at the start, and the start was pretty awesome.  Dunno if Survival is his best record, but I know it’s the most polished album released while Bob was alive, but also the most incendiary and revolutionary.  Marley and Family Man figured out how to make their sound as clean as possible without sacrificing any authenticity, a fact that makes Marley’s death in 1981 such an interesting “what if?” moment.  

When Hendrix died in 1970, it’s almost universally reported that he was confused about what to do next.  Marley knew exactly what he was doing and how to get there, like all the amazing stuff he did in the early part of the decade was just practice for the ’80s, when his message was needed the most.  

I don’t think Bob Marley was a prophet, but I fully understand how someone would.  He was always on point without ever being preachy, even on albums when he talked about revolution on every single song.  His songs never wasted a word, but never sacrificed any texture, whether singing a modern spiritual or a love song.  And he did it just about every time out for 10 damn years.  

He was bigger than his island, bigger than his genre and remains, in many ways, bigger than any artist in pop music has ever been.  Only Muhammad Ali was a more popular black man in the ’80s, but Marley may have been even more influential.

Bands in January are going to be excited to play at an inauguration ball.  Marley headlined a friggin independence ceremony.  Top that, baby.

July 5, 2008

My Morning Jacket

To all the folks that suggested I check out My Morning Jacket, especially Evan and Ben, I say thank you.  I’m three years late on this “Z” album, but it’s off the meat rack.

Given that most of the music I listen to these days is 30+ years old, I figured I should share something I wasn’t up on with the folk.

July 5, 2008

If there’s anything I hate…

…it’s a beggin’ ass pizza man.

I understand that delivering pizzas isn’t the greatest job, especially now that gas is $4 a gallon.  Honestly, I don’t know how you can turn a profit if you’re not driving a hybrid?  And, if you can afford a hybrid, why are you delivering pizzas?

Anyway, there’s this one pizza chain I patronize.  I like their pizza.  I order it.

Only thing is that they hit you with a delivery charge.  If that’s what the man wants to do, he can do that.  So, I pay the delivery charge.

The man that loses in this battle is the pizza man.  See, when I see “delivery charge,” I think “tip.”  After all, that’s what an extra buck and change on a pizza is, right?  Well, Papa takes the tip as tax.  There goes my tip money.  I don’t have any left for the pizza man.  The pizza ain’t that good to be putting all that money on it.

But invariably, this chain has some beggin’ ass pizza man come to my door.  They don’t seem to understand that a tip is a courtesy.  It is not owed to you.  Strippers sometimes leave the stage with nary single.  You think somebody owes you money because you brought them some food?  You were out bringing the next man his food!  I was just on the way.

And today, they sent the beggin’ ass pizza man.  I told him why I couldn’t tip, because of the delivery charge.  He then told me that he and his brethren don’t see anything from the delivery charge.

Hey there — instead of complaining to me about this, shouldn’t you be taking this up with your manager?  That’s who’s taking your money.  Why are you coming to me about it?  I ain’t got it.  Do y’all need to start a union or something?

Just know this — gas is kicking my ass, too.  Unfortunately, that’s why I can’t put something on your tank.  That’s not on me, playboy.  That’s on your job.

In other words — take that beggin’ somewhere else.

June 30, 2008

So I’m watching this Nelson Mandela concert…

…and Amy Winehouse just came on.  Between her, just ugh, style thing she’s got going and the pair of Negro backup singers enthusiastically stepping and clapping and playing tambourines, this is positively disturbing.

Like, really…I have no idea what to make of this.  She doesn’t look like she knows the words to the songs. Not that it seems like she can’t remember them.  I mean, she looks like there’s no way in hell she can memorize anything.

She can sing, however.  Very well.  And she’s definitely selling that whole “Rehab” thing.

(They just showed a shot of Mandela, and he seemed to be looking at her like “who is that peculiar thing on the stage?  I thought you said the Spice Girls would be here.”)